New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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