either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
