is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
