That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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