You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
