Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
