so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
