so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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