Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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