Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
