More tranny stories later!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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