Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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