never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
