you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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