That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
