Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize