so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize