I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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