i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
