how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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