...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
porn star boner night. come get it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
