Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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