I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
