Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize