that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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