I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
