I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
