what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize