Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
