and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
