I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
