i need an iv and a liver transplant
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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