Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
