how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
