This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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