i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
