Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
