oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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