looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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