Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
