There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
