so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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