dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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