We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
