I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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