she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
