I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
