i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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