I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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