just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
