Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
