your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
