Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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