JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize