Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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