whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
