Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
