hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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