Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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