I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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