I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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