I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
